Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
