i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
