Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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