You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
foreskin is a definite game changer
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
