Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord

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(561): View more from Florida

i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls

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(706): View more from Georgia

Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.

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(425): View more from Washington

if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you

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(64): View more from New Zealand

Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...

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(618): View more from Illinois

Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.

(309): View more from Illinois

Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?

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(847): View more from Illinois

Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.

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(618): View more from Illinois

It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.

(1-618): View more from Illinois

YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE

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