I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
