He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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