i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
