I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
