she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Drake has all the answers
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
