Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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