how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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