I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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