Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
