Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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