you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
