Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
