I just threw up on my dentist
I think my fart just growled at me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Randomize
