I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
