I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
