Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
