I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
