i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
