Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
