Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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