A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize