Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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