East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
