ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
