The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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