and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
