3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
