It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
