Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
