Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
