I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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