Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Randomize
