I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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