I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
