White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
