she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
