The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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