Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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