You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
