Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry raghav hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.

Fav 20 3013 1381
share tweet
(973): View more from New Jersey

I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.

Fav 23 2365 5057
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(514): View more from Quebec

You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club

Fav 3 2019 1208
share tweet
(931): View more from Tennessee

That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from

Fav 12 2818 967
share tweet
(202): View more from Washington, DC

he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling

Fav 12 1822 870
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.

Fav 20 2203 1249
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(859): View more from Kentucky

I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?

Fav 1 929 970
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(212): View more from New York

He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.

Fav 1 789 613
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...

Fav 0 42 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT