yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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