Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
