It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
