What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
