Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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